Today Luca is one month old. What a month. I am so happy. This is so much better than I ever imagined. I had so many fears about bonding, based on my own abandonment as an infant (I was in a foster home for some weeks/months as a newborn, then adopted), based on my history of depression, and also fears about what would happen if I had a c-section (I did), would I still be able to bond, breastfeed etc.
 |
| Sleeping on the boob |
Well, I just love this little guy. Just can't stop looking at him, kissing him, making up silly love songs for him. I adore nursing him (tho it's painful at times), I just want to give him everything. I am a total mush over him, and I have never particularly been a "baby person". So thank god.
I am nursing him so much that I very rarely have both hands available. I don't know when I'll be able to write anything well thought out, between the lack of hands and my brain has been pretty foggy since the birth.. whether its recovery or lack of sleep or hormones, I'm just not that
here, mentally.
I'm going to leave it at this for now, but I'll try to get back and write more about the birth.
Well there you have him, my beloved baby.
