A Day

I've been feeling unbearably antsy and irritable today. My DH and I were spending most of the day in our living room (really the only decent sized room in this little cottage) in front of the wood stove which is going again now that our 70 degree days have turned back in to 17 degree nights... sounds cozy, but I just couldn't tolerate anything that he said to me. He was in get-ready mode since this upcoming week is our transfer week. I was in I'm-hormonal-and-I-just-want-to-read-blogs-in-peace mode and he kept interrupting me every few minutes with things we had to do. All day. This included sex, btw, which we HAD to have before it got too late today, because he is contributing his manly juices to our baby making endeavor on Monday, and apparently it was essential to uh, renew these juices no later than 48 hours ahead of time. I was pretty well ready to tell him to go renew them all by himself, but I managed to calm my irritation with a bath, swim up through the murky waters of hormonally induced fog and join him. While he was sleeping blissfully, I, in a frenzy, baked the deepest darkest chocolate brownies ever. I have been craving chocolate, but have been finding whatever products I have bought to be just not yummy or chocolaty enough, so, I did what I had to do, and baked them myself.

After DH woke up he continued to irritate me. I know that it is partly because he is extremely anxious about the retrieval day and his important role. This man has been taking every sperm enhancing herb and vitamin available, plus going to acupuncture, for months. Hmf. I thought I was the suffering, obsessed infertile around here, but you should just see this man googling every little thing...with knitted brow. You ladies would be impressed.

He really is a very lovable guy, but I had to get out of the house, cause his anxiety and mine just weren't working well together. So I went on a walk through our lovely little town. DH would skin me alive, but I smoked half of one of my last 3 remaining clove cigarettes. I only smoke when I am extremely anxious.. I haven't smoked for probably 6 months, so don't you get all upset at me, too. The US has banned clove cigarettes, and I can't get them anywhere. So I only have 2 1/2 left. Scary. So the walk was really nice, I peeked into the new cheese shop, and walked down the little dirt road by the waterfall. I stood for about ten minutes watching a very tall pine tree fill up with turkey vultures, which are giant birds. They flew to to the tree one at a time, appearing from who knows where and floating, with their 6 foot wingspan, to the tree, where they would shuffle themselves around till they found their sleeping places. It was cool. then I found a giant feather, one of theirs, bigger than any feather I have ever seen. Picked some just budding forsythia branches, and walked home feeling like a new woman. Hubby has retreated to the kitchen and is washing dishes, leaving me to write in peace. I am wearing earplugs.

We are driving up to Syracuse tomorrow, a 7 hour round trip drive, for the donors retrieval day. I am so excited. I am mostly over being upset by the surprise our clinic gave us, that we have to travel up there twice this week.. I thought everything was going to happen nearby, in Albany, at the clinic we usually go to, but apparently they forgot to tell us, that since the donor lives in Syracuse, we have to go there. It makes sense, but they forgot to tell us. OK so we are staying in a hotel overnight both times, and I have been desperately searching the Internet for things to do in Syracuse, with pretty dismal results. Found several comments basically saying don't expect to find a lot to do or any great restaurants up here! If anyone knows any different, please enlighten me. Otherwise we will just yelp some place for dinner and probably go to a movie.

So, tomorrow, we go north, and Monday we hopefully create some embryos. The donor had 16 follicles yesterday, My lining was 7.5 on Tuesday, with still a week and a half of plumping left. Yay! Yikes! Excited! Anxious!


  1. In Syracuse check out the Wegman's grocery stores. The chocolate cake is SO SINFUL! You will find it in the bakery section. Oh my. That will fix you for sure! I call it my happy cake. I also love the red cake roll. That's new. I totally get the moody. That's me to a tee. I actually told my husband to not talk for 10 minutes and I would then be happy. Seriously snappy. And no it didn't make me happy, but helped for the 10 minutes.

  2. Hey, thanks for stopping by my blog. Good luck tomorrow, I hope it is a smooth retrieval for the donor and a peaceful day for you. I hate that antsy feeling. When I get it, I feel like my skin is crawling and I want my hubby to sit on me. Good for you for knowing what you need and getting out for a walk. That works.

    (Oh and I second Wegmans...have fun!)

  3. Hey lady, thanks for stopping by my blog:) Thinking of you guys as you head north for retrieval...hope everything goes smoothly! I think we've all had our hormonal moments, hard not to when going through the stress of infertility! You'll find the IF blogosphere is an amazing support system as you go through this journey! Keep us posted:)