Mid Cycle, Mid-life, Newlywed

I am in the middle of DE IVF cycle number two. The last cycle was in March, and it didn't work.. the embryos did not look good, and the Doc said it could be that the donor had a bad cycle. It took this long to get a new donor... It feels like forever, especially since I turned 49 last week. I know there are a small minority of women who are choosing to try to bear children at this age, but I don't know any of them. Even in this wonderful blogging community, I feel like a real minority. If I become pregnant this cycle, I will (god willing) become a mother just before I turn 50. Most of my cohort have children in college right now. I am 8 years older than our egg donors mother.

Yet this is my try at having the family I have always, always wanted... everything came late for me. I just got married. Just. My wedding was 2 months ago. It was so wonderful. Or I should say they, we also eloped in January- a beach wedding in Hawaii with another couple witnessing, who are friends of ours, and their new adopted baby. My friend, P., the wife in the couple, is my age. She is actually the oldest new mom I know personally. I wish she lived near me, she lives in Alaska, and here I am in New York.

The second wedding was so sweet.. we had it on a mountaintop near our house, with all of our family and friends, and it was just about the most perfect sunny, clear October day ever. Plus I married the sweetest man I know, pretty good, eh?

I'm glad all of the hullaballo of it is over now, but it was such a huge life passage for me, I really relished it. We totally did it our way, too, one of the advantages of age probably. It was a great wedding.

This is the only non-identifying pic I could find of us on our wedding day. We were walking up to join our loved ones at the wedding site. My dress was red burn-out velvet, and that was a cream colored shawl that I got in Pakistan. You can't see how gorgeous the day was or how happy we were, but take my word for it.

I kind of feel like I am doing the procreating thing my way, too. I do feel some fears of being judged about it. We have not told my honey's family about what we are doing, or much of my family, because of my not wanting to be judged. My honey's sister told us a while ago that she did not believe in assisted reproduction. She figured if you were meant to have children, it would happen the natural way. She has two children. I don't even want to get anywhere near discussing this with her. I'll just keep a safe distance. She totally harshes my mellow.

My close friends know. My mother knows. She's scared to death for my health and well being, which I can understand, but it stresses me out. My close friends are of course totally supportive.


I went to Albany yesterday for my lining check, and the nurse said that it was 6.4mm I think, which was a little slow, they are looking for over 7mm so they added one more estrace pill to my three a day, but this one goes in vaginally. Hmm. It makes sense to get the medication as close as possible to the uterus, if it absorbs like that, but every time I see blue in my underwear, I have a moment of huh?

I have increased my acupuncture to 3 times a week for the two weeks prior to transfer. I continued going once a week since my last cycle 8 months ago, and I find it has significantly helped my energy level and focus and concentration. I suffer from ADD, and I don't remember ever feeling this normal and good. Of course when I started the lupron 3 weeks ago, that all went bye-bye and I was overtaken by a fog of spaced-outness and tiredness and crankyness. Then they put me on estrogen and steroids, which gave me better skin and a bit of an up feeling, but I do not feel like my self. Can't wait to start the progesterone in oil next week!!